Hopefully this turns out to be a lot of fun to work with.
First I'll say that I'm in one of those awkward times in life. You know...where you know that you're looking for something and are not sure what you're looking for? Or where you think you know what you want...but you don't quite know what it was that you were imagining?
I've left on and returned from an incredible two-year long ride as a missionary for my church in Boise, Idaho. I came home from my service in Boise in December. Since then my home has been mostly in the spare rooms of my parent's homes...that's the dream right?
Honestly I didn't try to expect what my post-mission life would be like. But from my standing right now I feel frustrated with it. Many things in my life are quite excellent. I have great friends, supportive and loving parents, a nice home, and so many other things. But I find myself craving independence. I want to do things in life and I feel sometimes like I'm held back, or that I'm holding myself back. I want to finish college. I want to have a career. I want to get married and live happily ever after. I want to see the world. There are so many things yet to do!
But here I am...stuck in a pseudo-reality. It's almost like a dual life, not quite here or there. Most days I spend my time mulling around doing this or that, feeling mostly loser-ish. And my alternately cooler self takes over as I spend time with friends and acquaintances. My escapes are music and writing, and the occasional conversation with one or two people during the day.
I don't want to play the cynic though because I'm hopeful. I have confidence that all will be well. I have goals, some more well-defined than others. And I know that good things are coming! I just have to do a little bit more seeking!
